Monday, November 15, 2004
what am i thinking?
It have been so long i really post something here. I should say that i have not been blogging for very long even my new blog. I just feel so out of myself this few days. My attitude towards alot of people changed. Last saturday, was alone walking around in the late afternoon until night. First, I was at Queenway. I went to shop for shorts and shirt. I got one bermudas and one shirt there. After that, i went to take bus 14 to orchard. Stopped at Lucky Plaza. I went to Ngee Ann City. You may think that walking alone in orchard sound so stupid. But I did that. I walked to Kinokuniya. Was looking around for books to read. And I walk toward somewhere I felt so familiar. I took one of the Channel [A] book out. And i remember something. Someone did tell me that this is a nice chinese book to read. I smiled and put it back. There only left 2 out of the 5 books left. I never forget that.
I walked toward taka. Saw some of working friends at the business wear side. Just said hi and i walked away. Went out of Ngee Ann City after that, i walked towards Heeren. Went to a few shop then stopped at HMV. I was listening to Simple Plan new album, sounded nice and was tempted to buy it. But I think i going to get after my camp. Then after that I decided to go to Sim Lim Square. Took the MRT down and walked toward Sim Lim. I never feel so alone before, when you feel that there nothing left for you to aim for. Anyway went to get Total Manager 2005 and 50 CD-R discs to burn out some movie in this labtop. Wanted to get the 256mb or 512mb memory stick for my camera but the salesman was so unfriendly, making me changed my mind.
After that went to take 67 back home. On the bus, before rachel called me I felt so alone and thinking about the last few day event which caused so many incident. I feel so fuck up with myself why i am so useless. Maybe that the end of our friendship? I really don't know. Then rachel called. Someone who i talked to whenever i am down but I never tell her that i'm feeling down. She is someone who can make me happy when i'm down. Talked for awhile then she held up. Then i was left alone thinking of alot of things.
I left myself with fault here and there. Things happened all because of me and i am always the one at fault. The one who caused the things to happen. sigh.....
I have not seem you online for a few days. Did you blocked me? Did you deleted my contact?
I will be away for camp for the next few days. Meaning i will not be online, will not answer your call, will not reply your message. But something will still be there, the feeling of lone person.
Exam Result
PHYSIOLOGICAL SYSTEMS D+
CELL BIOLOGY C
INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY AND PROGRAMMING B+
UNDERSTANDING WRITING FOR ACADEMIC APPL D+
CREATIVITY AND APPLIED THINKING SKILLS C+
IT APPLICATIONS A
ORGANIC & BIOLOGICAL CHEMISTRY C
All passed but I feel i should work harder and get better result next time. But the happy things is that i passed everything which make me think that nothing is immpossible but if one work hard he/she sure can get it.
_.sign off:
(A Guy with a lone heart, broken into pieces.)
_____________________
183俱乐部
折磨
The wall
看你哭着转身就走 我却不知该说什么
是我害你一个人难过 每次想到我就好心痛
为何命运如此捉弄 爱在手中又逃走
想说爱你却开不了口 在你面前我变得懦弱
# 到底怎么了请你告诉我 让我相信
在我们的爱情一道墙矗立 挥之不去
明明相爱却不能长久 最后还是无法去承受
心若死了要怎么救 想你恨你只更折磨
白天黑夜不停缠着我 每次想到心就会喊痛
Repeat #
Do you want me I need to know
Can you feel it let it show
I can't hide it deep within myself
Everytime I look at you I know
Repeat #
到底怎么了请你告诉我 让我相信 (让我相信)
在我们的爱情一道墙矗立 挥之不去 (挥之不去)
明明相爱却不能长久 (爱不能长 oh)
最后还是无法去承受 (我无法承受)
xOOx - 11:49:00 pm
