Friday, October 29, 2004
Poem: One Last Smile
For a long time
I knew that you would go
Some day...
And now that time has come
So fast... too fast!
I remember all the times
The times that you saved me, held me
Your touch, so gentle and warm
Your voice, so calm and brave
But that's all over...
I don't want you to leave!
Tears roll over my cheecks
With your gentle touch, you whipe away my tears
One last time...
Your smile tells me not to cry
Not to cry for you
One last time, you whisper in my ear
"I'll allways be with you, in your heart"
You smile, one last time
Before I know it, you're gone
You're gone ... forever aren't you?
... My love is gone
... You're gone
... Atem
____________________
For all reading this.... love is something you hope to have but sometime you just cant get what you want.... something which you need to understand.. you need to know... you need to feel... you need to get hurt.... but when the day love come... some will just forget about that... when it is gone... you start to regret... thats me.... i regret alot... wad about you? if i ever to choose... i will love that girl as much as possible and not letting her giving me up.... but this is wad i say... will i able to do that... as a promise i will do that... but will you do that? this is up to you.... maybe i felt better to live wad i am now... i gave up to cont... did i did the right thing? i also dunno... to some or even her... i did the right thing...
cycling that day... when i was cycling at the front... alone... i think about alot of thing... alot alot... from frens to alot of things.... i felt like i changed alot after this few incident which happened from sec4 onwards.... shld i say i grew up? i also dunno how to explain... love to me has change meaning... i don find it not as strong as last time.... last time i use to love a ger until to the top... now i just can say i like someone.... LOVE... it is so easy to come out from my mouth that it come no meaning to it.... but those girls who i did loved... i put all my feeling to it....
for this 18 years of my life.... i only did really loved 2 girls be4... but both hurt me equally.... and also gave me the best memories of my life.... i suddenly so emotional... hmmmmm... but im ok.... after i made my decision that time... i hope that i did the right thing after all... everyone just need love.... but for me i dont have any.. even my family... i now just being irritated by my mum.... don talk about it...
love? it is so hard to define... but at least i have this circle of frens.... those from np and those from my sec sch.... i put priority to frens than my family...
this few days im just too emotional... but i nv tell anyone... haix... i also don wish to say.... maybe one day i can find that ONE in my heart.... but for now... i shall cont my quest tru life.... that it.. i shall go slp... is kinda late....
xOOx - 2:29:00 am
