ho ho ho... just finish watching the doll master.... nice show... rating i give 3/5 whahaha.... ho ho ho... i just like drum... just finish another another day of drum class... and is so fun.... whooo... tml ubin expedition with my sec fren... whahaha... sian need to wake up early...going to slp soon.. and my stupid aircon is dripping water...argh....

_________________

> I'd like to address a problem that is so common
> that it seems silly to even mention it.
>
> It's the idea that too often we use our powerful
> minds and emotions to cause ourselves to FAIL with
> women rather than SUCCEED with women.
>
> Fear of women can actually become a HABIT that
> leads to failure.
>
> Let me ask you a question:
>
> Have you ever been in a situation where you saw
> a woman that you wanted to meet, but you didn't go
> over and talk to her?
>
> Duh. Of course... we all have.
>
> This is a UNIVERSAL. We've all been there so many
> times that the question doesn't even need to be asked.
>
> But the question I want to answer is "Why?"
>
> Why is it that when we see a woman that we'd like
> to me we don't just walk over and start talking to
> her?
>
> What is it that we're doing inside of our heads
> that is preventing us from just DOING IT?
>
> Why do we do to prevent ourselves from being
> successful, when it would be SOOOO EASY?
>
> And an even MORE interesting question is:
>
> How do we overcome this self- defeating pattern
> of thought and action?
>
> I have one friend who I've seen get 25 phone numbers
> over the course of a weekend (I saw him get every one
> of them)... and all of them were from women that he
> had met on the spot.
>
> Most of them took less than 5 minutes to get.
>
> Now, I have many OTHER friends that can't even
> ask a woman for her number after they've talked to
> her a HUNDRED TIMES... and they KNOW she's single.
>
> By the way, I have a LOT more of this type of
> friend...
>
> So what the hell is going on here?
>
> Well, like most answers to questions like this
> one, the explanation and solution is both very simple
> and VERY complex.
>
> The short answer is that most of us guys let
> our initial EMOTIONAL REACTIONS and our IMAGINATIONS
> to keep us from taking action.
>
> In other words, we see a woman we'd like to meet,
> we become nervous (for reasons we can't explain logically),
> we feel FEAR, we make all kinds of negative MENTAL
> IMAGES, and we finally just decide that it isn't worth
> it... so we just walk away.
>
> But isn't this CRAZY behavior?
>
> I mean, it doesn't make any sense at all when you
> REALLY reflect and think about it, right?
>
> Doesn't it make sense that we should just REALIZE
> that nothing bad is going to happen, and instantly
> change how we behave towards women?
>
> Now that we KNOW what we do, shouldn't we be able
> to just walk out the door and start meeting women
> RIGHT NOW?
>
> Well, yes... we SHOULD be able to do that.
>
> But like I mentioned, there's an aspect of this
> problem that is very COMPLEX... and therefore not
> as easy to change quickly.
>
> As any dog trainer will tell you, a bad HABIT isn't
> always easy to change. If you've been doing this for
> awhile, then it might take more than just some positive
> thinking to get this handled.
>
> I just read a fascinating book called "Mean Genes"
> awhile back that was written by a couple of evolution
> specialists (Terry Burnham and Jay Phelan).
>
> Inside this book, these guys point out that humans
> are HORRIBLE at assessing risk and return, and that
> they often make horrible decisions for themselves.
>
> But here's the kicker: We all make the SAME risk/return
> mistakes in the SAME situations... and this is most
> likely a GENETIC pre-disposition!
>
> In other words, WE'RE BORN WITH IT.
>
> So you might see a woman that you'd like to talk
> to, then use your imagination to create some painfully
> scary ideas about how you might get rejected (which
> wouldn't happen in a million years) and then you feel
> a wave of fear and nervousness wash over your entire
> body... and you decide it's just not worth it, so you
> walk away.
>
> This is that "automatic bad risk/return system"
> in action.
>
> And often, these poor decisions cause us to say
> to ourselves "Damn it. Why do I keep doing that? I'm a
> such a loser..." and we beat ourselves up even MORE
> over it.
>
> As you know, these can become self-fulfilling
> prophesies and just make themselves BIGGER over time.
>
> So what's the answer?
>
> Well, first you have to BREAK THE HABIT of making
> yourself feel BAD and AFRAID, and LEARN the habit
> of making yourself feel GOOD and OPTIMISTIC.
>
> Remember, you've been doing things the way you
> do them for a long time now, so it might take some
> PRACTICE to be able to do this in the moment every
> time you need to...
>
> Here are some action steps:
>
> 1) Take some time to vividly imagine the BEST possible
> outcome of walking up and talking to a woman that
> you find attractive. Every time you see a woman that
> you'd like to meet, just do this. Try it for a few
> days. Then realize that this BEST outcome is far more
> likely than your WORST idea of what could happen. Read
> that again. Your BEST outcome IS FAR MORE LIKELY than
> your worst.
>
> 2) Make a "realistic" list of the worst things that
> could happen, then decide exactly what you'd do if
> any of them actually did happen. You'll realize that
> you can deal with them and live through it.
>
> 3) Realize that NOT taking the risk to meet a woman
> is actually a BIGGER risk in the LONG RUN of your
> overall life. If you risk NOT meeting her, you'll
> never know what might have happened, and if you let
> it become a habit, it will keep you from realizing
> ALL your dreams in life.
>
> Think about it... in any given situation, YOU have
> the opportunity to make a "free bet": Your bet is
> you walking over and starting a conversation.
>
> Possible loss: Getting turned down.
>
> Possible gain: Use that creative imagination.
>
> You do the math.
>
> This is like going to Las Vegas and having a casino
> say to you "OK, you can bet all day long as much as
> you want. If you win, you keep all the money. If you
> lose, you lose nothing."
>
> Are you with me?
>
> Use this concept to go out and overcome your habit
> of not talking to women. Do it now.

xOOx - 10:56:00 pm



ho ho ho... just like the this song i just downloaded... linkin park - my reason... i think shld be the new song ba.. lol... today i stay at home the whole day... i just went to the gym in the early afternoon... ho ho... then surfing and have a good nap just now... whahhaa.... and i watch the movie, Face... i downloaded so long ago.. ho ho.... shld i say it is not even a ghost story.... it is like catching the killer...ho ho...

i now downloading the doll master.. hehe... shall be up in about 6 hrs time ba... whahah... holiday is so dead leh.... i think i need to find programme ready for next week.... shld be going down to tamp to play bball and soccer... sushi buffet.... hmmmm... movie maybe... see first... i need to pay bill... how sick.... next sat i got training for the banquet....

bored bored.... later got WWE Special No Mercy... whahah... at least got something to watch.... even tot wrestling is abit lame... whahaha.... now i watching the SG Idol Encore.... that epd that i nv watch... hmmmm...

tts all i shall be back again.. :p

im back again to blog... it is 12:43am le.. whaha.. im still watching tv.. whahah... just update about this new layout of mine... i added a new tagboard, added a radio blog into it... there some song i added into it already... ho ho... can try listening to some nice song... whahaha.... usually linkin park - my reason.. whahah...

boring.. sian... the doll master i download no subtitle... stupid.. how i going to know wad they saying.. argh.... that all.. back to tv... :p

timon... take care... be happy boy....

(2:07am) oh man... is so early now...and i still haven slp... whahaha... shall sleep soon... ho ho...if nothing wrong.. monday will be going to ubi with my secondary sch fren... cool... but going to wake up early to meet them... oh man.. why must i stay so far... argh.... distance is always the problem... anyway i love wad i am now... i have totally gave up everything already... now i just felt that i shld have fun... but i hate being tie to.... argh.... cant i have some freedom... forget it.. tok about it make me angry only... shall sleep... hope to dream of the ONE later... but i dunno who will be that ONE... don be a monster can le... sweet dream....

xOOx - 9:00:00 pm



haha... feel so bo liao... change the layout of the blog again... this time i named it "Heart2Heart" whahaha.... too bo liao... whaha... ver3 under the design of me, Jason Netstudio Design ... whahah....

today went for the registering of the banquet job at pan pac... next sat got training.. how stupid... then after that when town with ys hj ray... haha... today.. ray kena shoot until nothing to say... gave the wrong direction and took the wrong bus at the wrong time... whaha... we took 16 to taka there.. then rain heavily.. whahah... we waited until it get smaller than we started running to cine... long john there.... whaha...

when we ran in that time.. suddenly we all just being stare by the ppl in the long john... whaha.... and my hair all from up to down... whaha... then went to toilet and clean up.... and went to long john and ate... after that just shop ard and walk ard...

about 5+ i left and go home... im so broke that i need eat at home... whaha.... sian... tml shall stay at home.... whaha.... that all for today.... haha...
________________

我让你走了
潘玮柏

我一直坐在咖啡厅的角落
没有人发现我还在难过
其实早就已经忘了怎么说
就算再怎么舍不得
你还是走了
我还不想承认这事实
怎么会变成这个样子
没有了
我真的什么都没有了
就象一个废人
回家的路上我哭了
眼泪再一次崩溃了
无能为力这样走着
再也不敢骄傲奢求了
我还能够说些什么
我还能够做些什么
我好希望你会听见
因为爱你我让你走了
我让你走了Baby



xOOx - 10:16:00 pm

For a long time
I knew that you would go
Some day...
And now that time has come
So fast... too fast!

I remember all the times
The times that you saved me, held me
Your touch, so gentle and warm
Your voice, so calm and brave
But that's all over...

I don't want you to leave!

Tears roll over my cheecks
With your gentle touch, you whipe away my tears
One last time...

Your smile tells me not to cry
Not to cry for you

One last time, you whisper in my ear
"I'll allways be with you, in your heart"

You smile, one last time

Before I know it, you're gone
You're gone ... forever aren't you?

... My love is gone
... You're gone
... Atem
____________________

For all reading this.... love is something you hope to have but sometime you just cant get what you want.... something which you need to understand.. you need to know... you need to feel... you need to get hurt.... but when the day love come... some will just forget about that... when it is gone... you start to regret... thats me.... i regret alot... wad about you? if i ever to choose... i will love that girl as much as possible and not letting her giving me up.... but this is wad i say... will i able to do that... as a promise i will do that... but will you do that? this is up to you.... maybe i felt better to live wad i am now... i gave up to cont... did i did the right thing? i also dunno... to some or even her... i did the right thing...

cycling that day... when i was cycling at the front... alone... i think about alot of thing... alot alot... from frens to alot of things.... i felt like i changed alot after this few incident which happened from sec4 onwards.... shld i say i grew up? i also dunno how to explain... love to me has change meaning... i don find it not as strong as last time.... last time i use to love a ger until to the top... now i just can say i like someone.... LOVE... it is so easy to come out from my mouth that it come no meaning to it.... but those girls who i did loved... i put all my feeling to it....

for this 18 years of my life.... i only did really loved 2 girls be4... but both hurt me equally.... and also gave me the best memories of my life.... i suddenly so emotional... hmmmmm... but im ok.... after i made my decision that time... i hope that i did the right thing after all... everyone just need love.... but for me i dont have any.. even my family... i now just being irritated by my mum.... don talk about it...

love? it is so hard to define... but at least i have this circle of frens.... those from np and those from my sec sch.... i put priority to frens than my family...

this few days im just too emotional... but i nv tell anyone... haix... i also don wish to say.... maybe one day i can find that ONE in my heart.... but for now... i shall cont my quest tru life.... that it.. i shall go slp... is kinda late....


xOOx - 2:29:00 am



yoz yoz.. im back after 3 days... went to aloha loyang chalet.... fun... on the first... we prepare for the the bbq the next day... haha.. nv get ready... so keep nv got all the things we need.. whahaha.... the first night im having a bad headache so i went to slp early at bout 2am like that.... then woke up at about 9.30am... ho ho... first time benny woke up early... lol he woke up about the same time as me... haha.... then benny and me tok and he went to cook instant noodle... whaha... but i don feel like eating... so i say cook me out...

after that... we waited.... slowly aaron and hansheng woke up also...haha.. then we 4 tok and watch cartoon... lol.. and until about 11+am then we called yichao up and then timon. we went to downtown and have our breakfast and then went to loyang point and get some equipment. then went to PR park and get overnight bicycle... cycle back to our chalet... took out the chicken wing and they wanted to play bball... but i sian don wna to play bball leh... then they say wan to swim or not.. then i say okay loh... whaha... have fun... then about 5 like tt.. we went back to start fire...

like everything we are doing... nvm la... if they don wan to do.. you force also no use... i used to it already... from the last chalet with my classmate... but at least they appreaciate all you done... then ms ng came... tok abit there and her... then we all so hot then we jump back into the swimming pool.. whahha... then wanted to build human tower.... but is late liao... so cannot swim.... so go to chalet and cont bbq and drank volka... whooo....

watch the 9pm channel 8 show then went to join timon, the 'High' nadia and yichao to play ball... then kenny say wan to play street soccer with the guys there... then we formed a team... don wan t say... whahah.. we lost and lost... the floor is one thing.. the other... is maybe we first play together.. not use to to each other playing style... shall play soccer somedays... whaha... so long nv play... then we all back to chalet after that...

then we decide to cycle to anywhere of our choice... whaha.... then starting with my old hse... whahha.... went to that old park then cycle one rd... whahah.... then we cycle to tamp 201.. near my sec sch there and i have my toilet break and they brought water... ho ho...

oh ya.. forget to say about the ppl who went for this cycling trip.. me janis yichao timon benny hansheng... whahaa.... then cycle all the way to bedok revervior then cycle one rd... then we went back to chalet... all are super tired... usually janis... haha... cos she is the only ger with us... whahaa.... okay... we cycle back to aloha... and yichao kenny and benny went out and get charcoal... whahah... the other went to clean up themselve... to fresh up... we re start the fire... and there we go.... bbq the night and morning tru... some went to slp.. only left yichao benny kenny poon me hansheng.... we tok and eat... so fun... bbq until 6am hahaha... quite fun...

we start clearing up... and within awhile all clear.... haha.... by about 7+am... we all done and all so tired... when to slp... whahaa.... then about 8.30 i woke up and slowly all the other also wake up.... then 8.45... janis teng siong reine went home...

by 9+ all done... we call the guy and come and check and we left... ho ho ho.. that end the first part of my holi....

xOOx - 8:21:00 pm



Fuck It (I Don't Want You Back)
Eamon

Whoa oh oh
Ooh hooh
No No No

[Verse 1:]
See, I dont know why I liked you so much
I gave you all, of my trust
I told you, I loved you...now thats all down the drain
Ya put me through pain, I wanna let u know how I feel

[Chorus:]
Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you ho, I dont want you back

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you ho, I dont want you back

[Verse 2:]
You thought...you could
Keep this shit from me, yeh
Ya burnt bitch, I heard the story
Ya played me, ya even gave him head
Now ya askin for me back
Ya just another hack, look elsewhere
Cuz ya done with me

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you ho, I dont want you back

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you ho, I dont want you back

Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah

Ya questioned, did I care
You could ask anyone, I even said
Ya were my great one
Now its all over, but I do admit I'm sad.
It hurts real bad, I cant sweat that, cuz I loved a ho

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah

_________________

F.U.R.B. (F U Right Back)
Frankee

Oooh
Oooh
No no no

(You know there is two sides to every story)

See I don't know why your cryin' like a bitch
Talkin' shit like a snitch
Why'd you write a song 'bout me
If you really didn't care
You wouldn't wanna share
Tellin' everybody just how you feel

Fuck what I did was your fault somehow
Fuck the presents, I threw all that shit out
Fuck all the cryin' it didn't mean jak
Well guess what yo, fuck you right back

Fuck what I did was your fault somehow
Fuck the presents, I threw all that shit out
Fuck all the cryin' it didn't mean jak
Well guess what yo, fuck you right back

You thought you could really make me moan
I had better sex all alone (ha ha ha ha)
I had to, to do your friend
Now you want me to come back
You must be smokin' crack
Im goin' else where and that's a fact

Fuck all those nights I moaned real loud
Fuck it, I faked it, aren't you proud
Fuck all those nights you thought you broke my back
Well guess what yo, your sex was wack

Fuck all those nights I moaned real loud
Fuck it, I faked it, aren't you proud
Fuck all those nights you thought you broke my back
Well guess what yo, your sex was wack

Oh oh
Uh uh yeah

Oh oh
Uh uh yeah

Oh oh
Uh uh yeah

Oh oh
Uh uh yeah

You questioned did I care
Maybe I would have if you woulda gone down there
Now it's all over
But I do admit i'm glad I didn't catch ya crabs
I can't sweat that cause I got to go

Fuck what I did was your fault somehow
Fuck the presents, I threw all that shit out
Fuck all the cryin' it didn't mean jak
Well guess what yo, fuck you right back.

Oh oh
Uh uh yea

Oh oh
Uh uh yea

Oh oh
Uh uh yea

Oh oh
Uh uh yea


xOOx - 10:51:00 am



too bo liao le.. whaha... go redo my blog template... whahah.... and i name it art of love... hehe.... haha.. the bg abit i dunno wad to say.... whahhaa... i download and edit abit.. whooo.... i am a stealer... wahahaha..... hmmmmm.... sian.. tml going to sch and have itp retest and then going for the chalet.. whaha... fun fun... whooo.... at least i will out of my hse for a few day...

i still dunno wad happened to the web host... hmmm... i need to see if it is ok tml... cos maybe the domain was pointed to 2 ips... hehe... i unpoint it from the other place liao... whahha... then waiting for it to restart... whaha....

that all... go and chat with my frens le... hmmmmm... haix... some what i having bad mood then i think i quarrel with peiyi... sorry leh... if u see this... gone... but i still wan back my snow angel... :p...

xOOx - 11:39:00 pm

hahha.... just gotta free webhost from my fren... whahaha... and try hard to install the blogging tool into the server.. lol... now i uploading the B2evolution... lol... the b2 janis told me to use... whaha... i dunno how to use... now trying... b2evolution.. see can or not.. wahha.... still new to this kind of tools... whaha....

and i need a job.... i need some cash... argh.... sian man.... the blogging tool is so sucky also... argh... i need help.....

i think i need to slp liao... kinda of tired liao... gone....

xOOx - 3:04:00 am



(3:50am) i just came back.... FUCKING DULAN.... argh.. with my parents.... im old enough already... please... im no more a small kid.... i know is my fault that i nv heard the calls.. because i left it silent without vibration... i know i worry you all.. but i already told u i will be late liao... wad lau... damn dulan... fuck fuck... stop treating me like a kid...

i just went out dinner with my fren at bedok... those who i know them since sec 1... those who i called them brothers... those who i went to when im down... those who i put them on top of YOU..... i tell them my xin shi then telling YOU... I have a good life since young... you two just like to quarrel... fuck off.... i wun forget that becos of stupid relative problem u 2 wan to fight...

making stupid calls... keeping the hp.... i hate you 2 alot... fucking alot... i nv been close to you all... im closer to my fren than you 2.... who care at the wrong time.... when im sad becos of somethings... i only can find my fren... cos i already lost the touch with you 2... since young.... when u two started quarreling...

to those reading.... if u think my family is good... then u are wrong.... how i wish that i have a happy family.... fuck la.... si bei dulan.... stop controling me... fuck off... fuck off.... chee bye.... argh.... fuck man.. i cant stand...

how i wish i can tok to someone now.... i fucking dulan.... sadded!!!!!!! argh.....

xOOx - 3:48:00 am



yeahhhhhhh... is holiday... and i shall have fun.. hehe.... lets talk about ytd cb paper first... shld i say ok or shld say not? i also dunno... but i shall pray that i pass can liao.... after that went to town with the guys and gal... whahah... we went to ps mac and have our lurch... lol.... then here come the biggest joke... whahaha... the white bear... whahaha..i laugh until stomach pain.... if u wan to know wad happened u shall ask han sheng.. lol

after that went to singapore shopping centre and play pool... haha... play for like 2+hr... then we took bus to cine... and walk ard chat ard then went to eat pm.... then tok tok tok... then jiafeng and poon toking about gers.. lol.... then the others there chat....

then after that... jiafeng hansheng benny and janis need to ciaoz... then left me poon timon and chao.... then we walk to topman... ho ho... got sales... hmmm.. but im kind of broke... haha... i think i need to work...those short term job... hehe... to cover some expenses....

today... 1st half of the day going to stay at home.. then at night going bedok 85 to have dinner with the usual 6... me jeff hj ys ray jerry.... post exam gathering... tok cock session.. lol....but meanwhile i shall be slacking.... haven eat my breakfast.... shalll go eat now.. hehe... bye...
_______________________

The Long Goodbye
Ronan Keating

I know they say if you love somebody
You should set them free (so they say)
But it sure is hard to do
Yeah, it sure is hard to do
And I know they say if they don't come back again
Then it's meant to be (so they say)
But those words ain't pulling me through
Cos I'm still in love with you
I spend each day here waiting for a miracle
But it's just you and me going through the mill
(climbin' up a hill)

[Chorus]

This is the long goodbye
Somebody tell me why
Two lovers in love can't make it
Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart?
No matter how hard I try
You're gonna make me cry
Come on, baby, it's over, let's face it
All that's happening here is a long goodbye

Sometimes I ask my heart did we really
Give our love a chance (just one more chance)
and I know without a doubt
I turned it inside out
And if we walked away
would make more sense (only self defense)
But it tears me up inside
Just to think we still could try
How long must we keep riding on a carousel
Going round and round and never getting anywhere?
(on a wing and prayer)

[Chorus]

This is the long goodbye
Somebody tell me why
Two lovers in love can't make it
Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart?
No matter how hard I try
You're gonna make me cry
Come on, baby, it's over, Let's face it
All that's happening here is the long goodbye

[Chorus x2]

The long goodbye
The long goodbye
This is the long goodbye

Someone please tell me why

Are you ever coming back again
Are you ever coming back again
Are you ever coming back again
Guess I'm never coming back again


xOOx - 11:10:00 am



oh my god... today was a slacking day for me... wan to study but no mood... like in holiday mood liao.. die... later must go study liao... hhee.... today stay at home and rot.... tmr will be the cb paper... after that... holiday... the staying of fun... ho ho.... wad shall we do tmr... lol..... let see.. lol...

just blog hopping... with the usual few.... someone steal one post... haha... and nv ask permission... trademark u know... lol.... whahaha... i going to sue u.. lol.... jk... whahhaa.... going to study liao gone....
___________

Hilary Duff
Hide Away

Hiding Away
Losin' my day
As if it doesn't really matter
Saying Goodbye
Scared to say why
Afraid it will shatter our world
Show me some faith now
Trust me somehow

Why are we keepin' our secret
Why are we hiding ourselves away
Everywhere we can hide away
I dont wanna fake it
I wanna make you believe, but i cant
I wont let you...hide away

Where do we go
How do we know
What we're ever really after
Sometimes it's clear
When you are here
Nothing can shatter our world
I need some faith now
To trust you somehow

Why are we keepin' our secret
Why are we hiding ourselves away
Everywhere we can hide away
I dont wanna fake it
I wanna make you believe but i cant
I wont let you...hide away

Maybe i, maybe i, maybe i'm losin'
Maybe i, maybe i, maybe i'm broken
Turn around, look around, go around in circles
Dont run away, drift away, dont hide away

Why are we keepin' our secret
Why are we hiding ourselves away
Everywhere you can, hide away
I dont wanna fake it
I wanna make you believe but i cant
Ohh but i cant
Believe what i said
I wont let you hide away, hide away

Hiding away, losin' my day
As if it doesn't really matter


xOOx - 8:32:00 pm



Swiveling Design


Turn around to a sensation in style with the spiral slide of our newest mobile. The SGH-P730 integrates a swiveling design for a twist of technology and a design with a difference. Creating new standards in mobile units, the SGH-P730 leads the industry with its design, camcorder and Megapixel camera. A color of light silver mirrors the bright outlook of this beauty as you flip it open to find the exceedingly attractive, premium design fits smoothly and easily into the palm of your hand with a true twist for your fashion revolution.


Futuristic Design


With a sharp looking, soft curved exterior, the SGH-P730 makes you a trend leader in technology. The SGH-P730 was designed to make a statement that you're a leader as it combines its sleek spin in design with Samsung's built-in digital camera and a high-quality TFD color screen, all in a futuristic and sophisticated handset.
The future of mobile communication is here for you.


Camcorder


Roll on with the sound the glory...The easy to carry SGH-P730's CIF capable camcorder also offers as you stay mobile and play with sound in full motion. Recording up to 60 minutes of motion, you can even record with a twist-the screen at a 90 degree angle-for a wider view. Then zoom in or pan out as you record with an 'in-motion' 4x video zoom. With an industry-high maximum quality CIF mode, the vibrant color and fluid motion of the shots will capture more than the clip. It'll tap into your imagination.


Megapixel Camera


An amazing view is all you'll see with your new Megapixel camera. The SGH-P730 functions as a Megapixel digital camera, taking perfect pictures every time. Just imagine the possibilities, photograph the close-ups and the cityscapes and see them with the crisp, clarity of true detail as you take the image of your mobile life to the outer limits with multishot, and enhancement features like fun frames and photo effects.


Video Wallpaper


The SGH-P730 supports a variety of wallpapers to catch your eyes, including not only stills, but also video wallpaper. You can catch the action as you stay mobile with sound and paste it as video wallpaper. Recall a special moment's beauty and let it greet your senses with every call.


Directional MIC


Tap into the possibility of Directional MIC for more vivid voices and sounds. Make it feel real. Combined with the camcorder, the Directional MIC's functionality will let you record your motion and voice clearly even as you move away from the phone. Say it in style and hear it better than ever with the SGH-P730.


262144 Color TFD Internal Screen


A view with a thrill...The incredible 262144 color TFD screen will flow from your 1.8" TFD screen to brighten the sight of all your adventures. View vivid images and video from your friends' exploits or the powerful built-in camera in all the detail you always desired. See every facet of your creations so you can catch the flaws and the strengths before you send it off or save it for remembrance.


64 Polyphonic Ringtones


Imageine the sound of a small symphony or your favorite singer calling out your tune in perfect harmony. The SGH-P730's 64 polyphonic ringtones will make your calls ring through in clarity. This 'best in the market' sound will make the difference clear as you relish the sound of the call to arms.


MP3 Player


Download the sound. Your favorite tracks are always with you as SGH-P730 is capable of carrying your MP3 files to track the night away.


MMS with Video Messaging


Sometimes the text isn't enough. When it comes to messages and the P730, there's more to video messaging than meets the eye. It enables you to send multimedia messages with text, voice, music, images and even video clips of up to 100KB per message. Send and receive video in comfort and let the SGH-P730 get your point across.


JAVA & 3D Games


Take a moment to relax and enjoy the pleasure of the SGH-P730. When entertainment is on your mind, experience Samsung's SGH-P730's Java MIDP 2.0 to unwind to the included games like Bubble Smile, Fun2Link and Mobile Chess or download new adventures for your ultimate enjoyment. You can also enjoy embedded 3D games such as Metalion, Bomb and Zio Golf.

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oh man... this fone... omg.... janis gave me the link to a site... and i saw this fone... omg.. who wan to be good to me... u shall buy this fone for me... thanks.. i will thanks u a million.... hehe

xOOx - 1:19:00 am




close up.... hehe...

xOOx - 9:35:00 pm



that me with my new hairstyle... short and sweet theme... ho ho... the last one is long and funky.... whahaha.... went to cut my hair after i feel that this head need a change.. whahah.... so i told the stylist to cut short and change the hairstyle of mine... whaha.. cool...

went out to study today... so tired... the library is so noisy... bloody with that grp of o's student study... tok tok tok... none stop... oh ya... there this ger sitting infront of me... a nyp student.. whaha.. saw her course note ma.. whaha... slp slp slp... i think she only study for one hour but slp for 3 hours.. whaha... but she is a chio bu... whooo... haha.... i left the library like erm... 6:45 then wet cut hair... then went to eat at the food court... ho ho.. saw her again... so qiao... haha... then i hack... after eat... i go walk ard the shopping centre.. lol... then wan to go home that time saw her again.. wah wah wah... haha... too bad i dunno her.. lalalala....

ok... enough of chee hong... lol... sian man... cant wait for thurs to come then whooo... exam over... don care about that itp la... lol... i need to play after this exam... schooling like no life.... after i came in... maybe there too many things happened that make me tired.. but now im a happy guy.. lol....

time to chat with my fren.. lol... gone~

xOOx - 9:32:00 pm



omg... i need luck on my side... later i will have my onc paper.. im so scared.. i nv been so scared taking a paper like this be4... argh.... cant really slp properly ytd... and i keep waking up... haiz.... and my mind is full of obc.. and i scared i forget them... pray pray pray... i need to pass this paper... pls... argh... need to go liao.. update about it later.... *praying* will you give me all the blessing?

(18:39) im back.. yes... is all over... obc.. really wish can pass... cos at least 70% i know how to do... just dunno if it is correct or not... pray hard.. i shall be watch pearl harbour part 2 later.. lol... today will be resting day.. not touching of cb until tmr.. hehe...

praying hard....

_________________

Alicia Keys
Karma


Weren't you the one that said, that you don't want me anymore.
And how you need your space, and give the keys back to your door.
And how I cried and tried and tried to make you stay with me.
But still you said that love was gone, and that I had to leave.
Now you, talkin bout a family
Now you, sayin I complete your dream
Now you, sayin I'm your everything
You confusin me
What you say to me
Don't play with me
Don't play with me.
Cause what goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me
What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back
I remember when
I was sittin home alone
Waitin for you
Til 3 o'clock in the morn
And when you came home, you'd always have some sorry excuse.
And explainin to me, like I'm just some kinda fool
I sacrifice the things I want to and do things for you
But when it's time to do for me, you never come through
Now you, wanna be a bond of me (eyyy)
Now you, have so much to say to me (heyy)
Now you, wanna make time for me
What you do to me.
You confusin me
Don't play with me
Don't play with me.
Cause what goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me
What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back
I remember when
I was sittin home alone
Waitin for you
Til 3 o'clock in the morn
Night after night
Knowin sumthing goin on
Wasn't home befo me
You was,you was gone
Lord knows it wasn't easy, but believe me.
Never thought you'd be the one that would deceived me.
And never do wha u was supposed to do
No need to hose me fool, cause I'm ova you
Cause what goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me
What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
Gotta stop tryin, to come back to me
What goes around, comes around.
What goes up, must come down.
It's called Karma baby.
And it goes around.
What goes around, comes around,
What goes up, must comes down,
Now who's cryin, desirin to come back to me
_________

this song rox... how i wish i can play the drum like in the music... whooo.... i need a drum... who wan to buy for me.. whahaha....


xOOx - 1:05:00 pm



hehehe...just finish watching pearl harbour the movie... it is still nice movie after i watch it the second time... tml going to catch part2... yea.... time for me to back into study.... hmmmmmmm.....last mugging excerise... time to prepare for war to tml... ho ho... obc war... 3hrs.... bk56.... targeted.... aimmed... fire... whahaha...

lame la... go liao... bye....

oh man... wanted to slp just now.. but just cant slp... oh man god... i suddenly so worried about tmr.... thinking about it.. i have not been passing any of her paper be4 which scared me out of it... it sickening... is it that i nv study but i did study... i understand... but the qns don sound the way i am able to apply in.. pray that it is the same type of qns she set for common test... i getting use to it...

pray pray pray.... i need some luck... i need that.... i need brain.... argh... i need ms ng brain... oh man...

why obc is so scary...

xOOx - 9:30:00 pm

tmr wil be obc paper.. going to study soon le... whaha... i will be appearing offline all the way... so any chances to see me online you shld catch me be4 im gone.. whaha... i going to mug all the part of the obc.. sickening... my neck is aching... argh... nv slp well i guess... ytd i slept at 1+am... whahaha then today i woke up only at 11am like tt.. hehe.... i wasnt really tired ytd... maybe the double-shot of coffee do help.... ho ho ho...

hmmmmmm..... time to mug... gone... anything sms is perfer... later still got drum... sometime for me to relax my mind.. but this week i nv train... ho ho ho.. gone... go there sure blur... better sit somewhere behind.. wahhaha... *hide*

-.-'' hiberating with obc......

Quote from a forum where i go to....

"yea.. and the one who got ditched is not pitiful! coz u've only lost summone who don't love u, but he/she lost summone who loves him/her!"

true of wad he say... whahha...

xOOx - 11:20:00 am



*yawn* going sch to mug for the last min... hehe.... my site hit 1000 le... whahaha.... thanks to blogexplosion... whahaha.... this 5days my site average is about 100+ ppl viewing it.. whaha... cool cool... whahaha.... i going off soon... not coming back early.. going out to study after the paper finish.. maybe stay in sch ba...come back home only make me dulan more....

okay.... thats all... shall leave the hse soon...

(22:55) im back... woooooo... clear pyhsio today.... suddenly i know that if i hardworking enough i shall be able to pass a paper like this... meaning i didnt really study during the common test period... next will be obc... woooo.. whahaha... need to work double hard... just now stay in sch to 'study'... whaha.. expected will end out chatting with timon yichao hansheng.. whaha.... slack for awhile after a paper like tt.. tml shall mug again... we left sch about 8pm then went to market to eat... then chat chat again until 10 ba... whahaha.... i think hansheng still on his way home ba.. whahhaa...

chat alot all regards about hansheng... wad is it? is only for us to know.. whahaha... not for other to know.. whahaha.... secret....

wad the hell.. need to retake the itp test... how sickening is that lam... argh... and is on our chalet day.. omg...wad the hell... argh... he suck man.... and he really do....

shall hibernate soon... need more rest for tml... mugging until i understand everything...

xOOx - 10:18:00 am



Came across the sentence below.... how meaningful..... haha....

He handed her 12 roses, 11 real and 1 fake and said, "I'll love you till the last one dies."

it is the last day of study break... and tmr is PS paper liao... jia you... i sure can do it wan.... good luck to those taking your paper tmr... see u tml... whahaha... going to study le... still abit sick.... i need someone to take care of me... whahaha.... jk.... gtg... bye...

(21:30) back early today... but make me dulan... fuck.... shld not come back early.. make me more sick.... argh.... went tru everything on ps today.... hmmmm... the last few part a few unclear... later go read through again... still not feeling well... sian... wad a week i need to go tru with this.... i need rest and more rest... argh........

hmmmmmm.... someone make me confuse the day be4 ytd... and until now i have a clear picure le... be4 i come back home i was sitting at the playground below my hse... hmmmmm.. thinking about alot of thing.... study excluded... hehe... serious... i was thinking about even tot i have the key to someone heart but i dunno how to open it... it is just like i love her but she don love me.... how much i say i love her... wadever i do.. she just treat that nothing happened... is it true? she wan me togive up on her, she tell me that... and i just confuse about wad im thinking now...

im just confuse... but just now that sentence i think... struck me and i think i got an answer... i shall give up.... the fact that i still love her... but for the fact that im still her fren and like to see her happy... i shldn't spliot that... peiyi... this is my decision... and shall fight for your happiness... and i shall be supporting you as a fren... i shall say this for the last time... i love you...

and lastly i proud to announce that im still myself.... don come and console me... im okay.... haha.... just come in and tok cock abit... haha.... really.... even thought im sick now.. i still ok hor... don think im crazy or wad....

exam tml... good luck guys and gals.... i shall me mugging again.. then shall rest early and mug in the morning... haha...

(23:58) just to come in and update a bit be4 slp.. whahah.... ok is about time to face the exam in 14 more hrs.. whahah... cool man... this few day i have been back to reading mood also... suddenly feel like completing the story i book months ago.. whaha... Deception Point by Dan Brown... nice story also.. whaha... catching it.. whaha... left with another 1/4... i reccommend u to read Da Vinci Code by him.. if u haven read it.. it is very good book.. if u wan i shall lend to u too... i have it... time to slp... bye again...

xOOx - 10:32:00 am




that me at library yesterday... haha.... i look dead right... wahhaha... soon will be over.... just another few more days to go.. but now im abit sick... o m g... how how... i need so help... wahhaha...

today study halfway.. heaache... then went back home.. haha... now still not that ok yet.. need to rest... tml going to chiong all the way.. meaning not going to catch sg idol... haha... but to some other ppl.. that is more impt... hmmmm... study more impt... reproductive system is so hard.. so many things to read... hmmmmm... pray pray... i need some luck... pls.. help me... whaha

hmmmmm..... for so long.. im like a dead person.. i think it is time for me to be back alive.... 7 more day for me to re born... hehe... and that the day i choose my way i wan to go... even tot i think i know where i wan to head for... but lets wait until then...

ok... time for me to slp early today... sicko need more rest... study with style... whoooooooo.... good luck buddies... study hard and smart... have more rest... but don slack.. timon.... u better bark up... good luck... Movie on the next thursday after paper... whaha.. like that time like tt.. whaha... we need so cooling session... whahaha tts all.. gone to lala land...

xOOx - 9:42:00 pm

wah wah wah.. so fast day3 liao... left with only 2 more days.... going to clear everything soon... try to clear it by today... i mean ps.. haha.. this will be short.. dunno wad to post today.. hmmmmm.... kinda of lost... shld i or shld i not.... after so many thing happened... i can feel that i shld nt.... so confuse... nvm.. exam more impt... after next week then decide ba...

(17:04) im back home already.... after having a bad headache and cold at the library.. need to have some rest at home... gotta go to slp le.. bye

xOOx - 10:21:00 am



yawn.. it is day2 and 3 more days to exam... how fast is it man.. it is like yst when im study my o's now im study for my major.. haha... later going out study again... oh ya.. just edit abit on the layout of my blog... whahaha.... nothing better to do.. so go play play with it... whahah.... my hair is getting longer... going to cut it only when sch term start this dec.. whahaha.... i make up wad to cut le... whaha... new sem new hair.. wahhaah.... hmmmm... i going to get ready to go out... later at night then i come in and update again... bye....

something else... i will not be active in msn or even irc... i will just appear offline in msn from 10pm onward when i m back... anything just page for me.. wahhaha...

(21:40) im back... haha... so tired... i clear glycolysis, kerb cycle and calvin cycle... remember all the step liao... yeah.... tml... need to study... ps... wahahha... i used 3 hrs to clear bits of nervous system.. how sickening is it... o m g... i need help on nervous and reproductive.... is so hard to understand... argh.... im so happy that i my brain is working... haha... all the enzyme i can remember... wow... so happy so happy.. need to work harder for all the other chapters... whaha....

tts it.. need to rest... i getting sick soon..


xOOx - 10:38:00 am



hahaha... came across this site on the web.. cool.. [http://homokaasu.org/gematriculator] try it on your web to see is it evil or good? wahhaha...



xOOx - 10:31:00 pm

hmmmm.. so wad i have done... i study everything on OC.. read through + some memory word on the reaction... BC... clear the glycolysis and part of kerb cycle... need to work harder on that... CB... clear two more chapter....left with 5 more to go... PS.. trying my very best to read and understnad nervous system... wahhaha... alot to remember from that chapter onward... stress stress... hmmm... i was at library today.. wow... pack with ppl... hmmm... went to study by myself.. so will be sharing table with others... the ppl i sharing with are all studying for o's... wahha... when they are asking each other qns i feel like helping them but... hehe... just treat that im DAO.... whahaha.... i was busy remember the whole of glycolysis at that time... it used my 1hr just to remember all the enzyem and product out... wow... good work... hehe... finally i find myself in right track liao.... i need to be alone... that it... no more study grps for me... you all may think i selfish, ps, wadever... but for me to do well.. i need to be alone... so be with it.... sorry...
________________

White Flag
Dido

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
I'll tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

xOOx - 9:32:00 pm

woke up from the first day of my study break...goin out to study soon le... will be back only at night... hehe... so anything wan to look for me, try to get me on my mobile ba... i may listen and may not listen to ur call... i need peace... so anyhing... prefer sms...

today going to study all 3 modules also... clear a little by little... kind of remember the stage of glycolysis... next will be kerb cycle then calvin cycle... whaha... how sick can this be... wow..

that all.. anything i will or will not update when im back.. hehe... anything just tag at my tagboard...

4 more days to exam...... "Have you study?"

xOOx - 10:31:00 am



just back home from dinner... just now went to my drum training... after drum class... went to GH to visit my grand aunt.... she is someone who we only see once a year during chinese new year.... she used to be those whose face is full of happiness.. today i saw one who is sick and lying on the bed... looking at her is so sad..

hmmmm.... need to go study already... gone...

(21:45) feeling so tired now... yawn... i think i need to catch some slp soon... tml... i shall cont more in the library.. i need to be alone to concentrate...

"Study with Style, SWS"

if i ever offend u this few days.. im sorry... don try to disturb me this few days... thanks...



xOOx - 7:48:00 pm

Difference between the one you like and the one you love

In front of the person you like, your heart beats faster
But in front of the person you love, you get happy.

In front of the person you love, winter seems like spring.
But in front of the person you like, winter is just beautiful winter.

If you look into the eyes of the one you like, you blush.
But if you look into the eyes of the one you love, you smile.

In front of the person you like, you can't say everything on your mind.
But in front of the person you love, you can.

In front of the person you like, you tend to get shy.
But in front of the person you love, you can show your own self.

You can't look straight into the eyes of the one you like.
But you can always smile and stare into the eyes of the one you love.

But when the one you like is crying, you end up comforting.
When the one you love is crying, you cry with them.

The feeling of like starts from the ear.
But the feeling of love starts from the eye.

So if you stop liking a person you used to like, all you need to do is cover your ears.
But if you try to close your eyes, love turns into a drop of tear and remains in your heart forever


xOOx - 1:22:00 pm



just back from je library.... went to study.... at least im away fro my com, i will concentrate on my study...from next week.. i will stay out to study liao... hehe... clear a few chapter from all the modules today.... ho ho... hmmmm... but i still encounter something whenever i study... i will keep thinking of other things... nvm...

just now bath come out... saw the mirror and found out that my panda eyes are out le.. whaha... i need more sleep... argh... really need them... haha... i think i going to slp le... but im waiting... nvm... trying to improve my chinese han yu pin yin... haha... maybe after exam... i will try typing in chinese.. lol...


<12:12am>haha... wanted to sleep but nv went to slp in the end... was playing with the blog.. haha... just found out about the blog explosion thingy.. wahaha.. let see my counter will jump ma.. whaha

xOOx - 9:19:00 pm



Say It Isn't So
Gareth Gates

Skies are dark it's time for rain
Final call you board the train
Heading for tomorrow
I wave goodbye to yesterdays
Wipe the tears you hide your face
Blinded by the sorrow

How can I be smiling like before
When baby, you don't love me anymore

Say it isn't so
Tell me you're not leaving
Say you changed your mind now
That I am only dreaming
That this is not goodbye
This is starting over
If you wanna know
I don't wanna let go
So say it isn't so

Ten to five atleast we tried
We're still alive but hope just died
As they close the door behind you
Whistle blows and tons of steel
Shake the ground beneth the wheels
As I wish I never found you

How can I be smiling when you're gone
Will I be strong enough to carry on

Miles and miles to go before I can say,
Before I can lay my love for you to sleep
Oh, darling oh
I got miles and miles togo
Before anyone will ever hear
Me laugh again


xOOx - 10:46:00 pm

hmmm.. so sleepy.... haha... today when to sch to hand in the lsct camp form and pass up the pract worksheet... whaha... so late liao then i pass up... whaha... then after that went town to collect my server and bring it to science park to mount it in.. wahhaa... how fun.. whaha... the new DC to hse my server... whaha... but stupid my partner set the password and forget... and he need to come down and set it himself.. whaha...

that my day... tml going to study alone... need to get away from my labby and chatting mode....

xOOx - 10:35:00 pm


From This Moment
Shania Twain


I do swear that I'll always be there
I'd give anything and everything and I will always care
Trouhg weakness and strength, happiness and sorrow,
For better for worse, I will love you
With every beat of my heart

From this moment life has begun
From this moment your are the one
Right beside you is where i belong
From this moment on
From this moment i have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love i'd give my last breath
From this moment on

I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you can't wait to start
You and i will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment... as long as i live
I will love you... i promise you this
There is nothing?i wouldn?t give
From this moment on
Oh oh

You're the reason i believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams... came true... because of you..

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, i promise you this
There is nothing i wouldn?t give
From this moment
I will love you as long as i live
From this moment on


xOOx - 1:02:00 am



today there is no lesson... but i woke early just to go NDC to fix my braces... no more eating hard things for me... :P hmmmm... 8am the appointment... my doc on mc today... Dr Chew not ard... whahaa.... Dr Lena took over.. she is more sociable... but i think her exp on the braces is not better than Dr Chew.. she re fix the braces like use force one... Dr Chew easy easy settle liao.. whaha....

after that took MRT back home.. nv go home... went mac to eat breakfast... wahhaha... then go home... whaha... came back ard 9 + ba going 10.... have a bath and came back saw someone flooded my msn and went offline.... wahaha... after that i sms back... waited for the reply but nv receive so i went to slp.... whahaha... tired.. but receive the reply after i woke up at 11+ whahha... then chat awhile on sms then i stop liao....

hmmmmm....just cook lurch for myself... haha.. lasy to go out again la.. whaha... then now blog loh... needto study liao.... major in around a week time...

(17:16); im back.. just now readjust the blog layout... now seem nearer... hehe... if got time then i change the pic in the middle... or even change the whole blog.... whahaha... having a headache now... so sick of headache... hmmmmm... back to study of PS... going to Shut Down this labby... maybe not coming online... cannot concentrate when online... but..... nvm...

(22:51); finally got my modem work.. argh... fuck it la.. waste my time... then suddenly can work liao.. wad lau... i tot spliot leh.. then there go my $$$... argh.... but in the end it work.. haha.. so happy... but there go my chat with her... cos i keep dc and dc... haiz.. nvm.... tml going down to DC to get back my server and mount it in PacNet... lol...

(00:26); settle all my connection problem already... finally... so damn dulan with them.... argh....



xOOx - 1:17:00 pm


I Try
Macy Gray


Games, changes, and fears
When will they go from here?
When will they stop?
I believe that fate has brought us here
And we should be together, babe
But we?re not

I play it off but I?m dreaming of you
And I?ll keep my cool, but I?m feigning

I try to say goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it?s clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it?s clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

I may appear to be free
But I?m just a prisoner of your love
And I may seem all right and smile when you leave
But my smiles are just a front
Just a front, hey
I play it off, but I?m dreaming of you
And I?ll keep my cool but I?m feigning

I try to say goodbye and I choke (yeah)
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it?s clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
Goodbye and I choke (yeah)
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it?s clear
My world crumbles when you are not near

Here is my confession
May I be your possession?
Boy I need your touch
Your love, kisses and such
With all my might I try
But this I can?t deny
Deny

I play it off but I?m dreaming of you
(But I?m dreaming of you, babe)
And I?ll keep my cool, but I?m feigning

I try to say goodbye and I choke (yeah)
I try to walk away and I stumble (oh)
Though I try to hide it, it?s clear
My world crumbles when you are not near (ahh)
Goodbye and I choke (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I try to walk away and I stumble (hey, hey, hey)
Though I try to hide it, it?s clear (say it Lord)
My world crumbles when you are not near (Lord, the Lord kisses us)

Goodbye and I choke (I?m choking)
I try to walk away and I stumble
Though I try to hide it, it?s clear
My world crumbles when you are not near
(Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)


xOOx - 1:50:00 am



告诉我什么是爱 , 怎么做才不会遗憾 , 告诉我什么是爱和被爱 ?

你是很想帮你爱的人，可是你就是不可以。你应该这么办？

我不知道我应该这么办？

xOOx - 6:35:00 pm



just finish watch 2 movie on my labby... hehe.... One Missed Call and New Police Story... ho ho... both very nice... cna catch if u wan... wahha.... one missed call is a ghost story... hmmmm... not bad... scary rating(4/5)... still aright la... then new police story... nice... haha...

hmmmm... why i felt so uneasy... haiz... forget it... just let it be...


I will always try to understand you...


xOOx - 5:45:00 pm



藉口
周杰倫

翻著我們的照片 想念若隱若現
fan zhe wo men de zhao pian / xiang nian ruo yin ruo xian
Flipping through our photographs, thoughts of [you] are visible yet invisible

去年的冬天 我們笑得很甜
qu nian de dong tian / wo men xiao de hen tian
Last year's winter, we laughed very sweetly

看著妳哭泣的臉, 對著我說再見
kan zhe ni ku qi de lian / dui zhe wo shuo zai jian
Watching your tear stained face, telling me goodbye

來不及聽見　妳已走得很遠
lai bu ji ting jian / ni yi zou de hen yuan
[I] have yet to hear it when you've already walked so far

也許妳已經放棄我　也許已經很難回頭
ye xu ni yi jing fang qi wo / ye su yi jing hen nan hui tou
Perhaps you have already given up on me, perhaps it is already very difficult to turn back

我知道是自己錯過　請再給我一個理由說妳不愛我
wo zhi dao shi zi ji cuo guo / qing zai gei wo yi ge li you shuo ni bu ai wo
I know it's all my fault, please give me another reason, say you don't love me



就算是我不懂　能不能原諒我
jiu suan shi wo bu dong / neng bu neng yuan liang wo
Even if I don't understand, can [you] forgive me?

請不要把分手當作妳的請求
qing bu yao ba fen shou dang zuo ni de qing qiu
Please don't use parting (breakup) as your request

我知道堅持要走 是妳受傷的藉口
wo zhi dao jian chi yao zou / shi ni shou shang de jie kou
I know wanting to go is your wound's excuse

請妳回頭　我會陪妳一直走到最後
qing ni hui tou / wo hui pei ni yi zhi zou dao zui hou
[Can] you please turn back, I will accompany you until the very end



就算沒有結果　我也能夠承受
jiu suan mei you jie guo / wo ye neng go cheng shou
Even if there is no conclusion, I can still endure

我知道妳的痛　是我給的承諾
wo zhi dao ni de tong / shi wo gei de cheng nuo
I know your pain is the promise I gave

妳說給過我縱容　沉默是因為包容
ni shuo gei guo wo zong rong / chen mo shi yin wei bao rong
You said [you] gave me tolerance, and silence was because of acceptance

如果要走　請妳記得我　如果難過　請妳忘了我
ru guo yao zou / qing ni ji de wo / ru guo nan guo / qing ni wang le wo
If [you] want to go, please remember me, if [you] feel sad, please forget me

xOOx - 10:54:00 pm

it was 1:25am now.. just wake up to study for tml pract test.... not tml shld say later test.... hmmmm... was so tired just now... so went to slp then set alarm to wake up at 1... idle ard for a while so that i make myself wake up.... ytd have my first durm lesson... it don seem as easy as i thought.... but i like it alot.. hmmm... i think thats all i shld say... get back to study....

xOOx - 1:24:00 am



this is a story i came across in the net. quite long but if u got time shld take a look....

_______________

La Dolcevita Da Storya

Met her on the net, how? I can't remember. But it seems to me that it is this 'little theory', which I declared in the cyberspace that caught her attention.

'If I have a million dollars, I would buy a house.
Do I have a million? No. That's y I dun have a house.
If I have wings, I can fly. do I have wings? No. So I can never fly.
If all the waters are drawn out of Pacific Ocean,
but it still can't put off the flame of love between us.
Can all the waters of Pacific Ocean be drawn off? No. That's y I dun love u.'

That's me, a typical science student. 1st u come up with an assumption, and then u fit a suitable conclusion. If the proposed assumption doesn't stand at all, then everything is just bullshit. I guess this is what they call 'unromantic'. But she is an exception. She actually mailed me and said that I'm a interesting' person. 'Interesting'? What a word to use on me, its like using 'faithful' on Mr. Clinton. I thought this gal must be a low-IQ organism, or suffering from serious brain damage. Anyway, her nick doesn't seem so bad- FLYNDANCE- that's quite a unique one. But I was warning myself: hello, this is the virtual world of Internet. Who knows what might be lurking behind a beautiful nick. Talking from experience, most of the time it will be a 'dinosaur' in disguise, the only differences will be whether it is a carnivore or an herbivore. But, I know she is way different from a 'dinosaur', she is special.

So I guess its time for the appearance of FlyNDance. Ever since she mailed to tell me that I am 'interesting', I was always wishing to meet her in #ajcrr. Too bad, lady luck was just not on my side. So I can only reply her letter to tell her that I will start to train myself to become an 'interesting' person, just to show that she is far-sighted. She replied my reply, I replied her reply to my reply, she again replied my reply to her reply blah blah blah... Oh no, I just started a chain-reaction. Actually what interested me the most is this 'para' she wrote in one of the mails....

'I dance swiftly, amidst the crowd.
your glance on me.
be it surprise, be it admiration,
it ain't gonna stop my rhythm
'Cos it's not your glance that made me dance,
it's my heart of youth.'

I simply cannot relate this gal to any of the 'dinosaurs'. But if she really is a dinosaur, I am willing to let her have her fill. Tye, my best pal unfortunately, noticed my little affair with FlyNDance, and has been perpetually warning me about this.... "HELLO!!!... u don't even know what she looks like, y take the risk??.. maybe 'she' is a guy!!... haha!!.." I can't blame Tye for his ignorance. Ever since he was dumped by Sally in Sec4, he has become a renowned 'playboy'. As the saying goes: "Once bitten, Twice shy", in this case, after Tye was bitten, he has mastered the art of skinning snakes alive, and make into soup. But he got all the factors to be a playboy, I always think he is the 19 year-old version of Brad Pitt. Tall, handsome and got this tongue that causes diabetes in every women he targets. I dun think he can even remember how many girlfriends he has had.

I went online that night, log onto channel #ajcrr and yes!!... she is there. Before I can get over the surprise and the daze, she sent me a message.....

"hey slorr.. so late liao haven't slept ahh??"

Now what? Now what??!!.. okok, I had to calm down 1st. I swallowed hard on my saliva, took a few deep breath. Now where is that Tye when I needed him most at such crucial moment, somebody to tell me what to say to her. How am I going to attract her with my pathetic humour which has gone stale.

"slorr... me in a foul mood today.. can't sleep.. u leh??"

%@*^#)!(, what slorr slorr... now when I read it twice in a row, I m beginning to feel disgusted in that nick Tye gave me. Tye said that: "who knows.. it might attract some innocent gals in talking to u... haha.."

"I m not feeling very good too.... so lets sad together."

Finally squeezed a sentence out, but I can already feel droplets of sweat
forming on my forehead. Actually I m not in a bad mood, I just wanna follow up her topic that's all. And if she ask for the reason for my feeling down, I can say: "since u r feeling down, how can I ever be happy?..." I know it sounds mushy, but Tye said: "MUSHYNESS IS THE FUNDAMENTAL TO ALL COURTSHIP". And gals are a very weird species, they trust their ears far more than their eyes. So instead of doing 10 things to impress her, why not just say a sentence to move her.

"ok... but u haven't greet me leh..."

DAMNIT!.. how can I forget simple manners to gals. To think they call me 'MR COURTEOUS' in school. If this thing ever leaks out in school, I would lose all my female fans.

"nice to meet u... miss long-hair.."

I've been wishing that she's keeping long hair. Tye said that: "FlyNDance... hmm.. she would either be long-haired or a desperado, 'Cos when gals dance, only 2 parts of them may fly: hair and skirt. So if she doesn't have long hair, that means her skirt flys when she dances, AH-HA!!.. this has a certain sexual hint in it...haha.."

"eh?... how u know I got long hair?.."

BINGO!!.. heaven is on my side this time. It goes to prove that she is not a DESPERADO. yesh!!.."not only that.. I also know u seldom wear skirt.." I increased the stake, if I m correct this time, peace on earth forever.

"err... I guess u r rite lor.. but how u know one?.."

HAHAHAHAHA.... I m good ahh...

"just guess..."

"ok lor... hey slorr... tell u wat.. me tired liaoz... u coming online tomorrow morning??..."

"ya... y??.." Please please please say the u coming too, if not I m going to kill myself for letting u go tonight.

"I'll see ya tomorrow at 10 am then...good night..."

"er.. should be today at 10 am.. ok.. good night too"

I just blurted out a last sentence....
Offline. Suddenly I was so impressed by my performance just now. But is the season of spring really arriving for me??... I wish.

___________________________

"slorr... what a coincidence ahh..."
yeh... I m not late.
"ya lor... so qiao.."

gals are weird, I thought we already had an arrangement, y do I have to pretend that its not. They must have watched too many movies, and like
to think that guys they met due to the thing called 'fate' is the best thing that can happen to their love life.

"slorr.... u talking nonsense lah..."

NONSENSE???.. ok, let me tell u what nonsense. Summer's beach, the guy must be good at running, with broad shoulders, dark complexion with a tint of redness, sparkling eyes and loud laughter. Then he will call out loud the name of the gal, running towards her, carry her and spin 3 rounds anticlockwisely.

"slorr.... u siao liaoz ahh??"

I siao?.. ok.. lets change a location then. Deep in the mountains, the guy must have long hair, gotta have the look of an artist, carries a sketching stand, a few pieces of drawings, and u can see birds stop over at his side, admiring his work. and there will be a gal whose the model....most problemably naked.

"slorr.. but these all very romantic mah..."

ROMANTIC??.. hello miss... romance only survive in novels and movies. In real life, the guy on the beach may step onto broken glass or the gal may be too heavy which tore his arm muscles. Birds may just clear their waste on top of the guy in the mountains, or he might get a thrashing from the gal because he comments on the excess fats around the waist and hips.

"slorr... u hate romance??.."

I hate romance?... nope, I m just using my knowledge of statistic to get a deduction, that guys must be TALL to be romantic, not HANDSOME!!!.. some love novels even portrayed the guy as normal looking, but no-one dares to challenge the height of him!.. I object.... because I m not tall.

"slorr.... objection overruled..."

I think I m really outstandingly bo liao, talking to her about these until noon.

"slorr... are u hungry?..."

"ya... u leh??...."

"yesh... guess its time for lunch...slorr.."

"then do u think we should....??"

"slorr... I m just asking... I dun intend to have lunch with u..."

ok, good.. I m not romantic... neither are u.

_______________________________

I had lunch with Tye, we talk about the conversation with FlyNDance this morning.

"U moron... told her u r not romantic... u siao ah?.." "u have disgrace
me man... how can u make such a big mistake?....I...I..."

Tye grabbed a chicken wing with chopstick, and I can see the trembling of the hand and the wing.

"there are 3 'don'ts' in chasing a gal... one...dun forget to be romantic,.. two ... dun be too honest... 3... dun be too stingy on the
sugar in our speech... noticed number 1, u stupid??"

what rubbish is that??....

"In mandarin we say 'nan ren bu huai, nu ren bu ai', u should know this..."
this I know, but it has been a controversial topic over centuries.

"women aren't really that... cheap.. so y would they only falls for 'bad guys' like me??... that's because 'bad guys' are usually romantic... those 'nice guys' are usually... dumdums...so she would rather choose a romantic 'bad guy' rather than any of those dumdums... in maths we call this 2C1...understand?...dumdum.."

oh, Tye is talking about maths!!.. now I understand. No wonder I have always been left on the shelf.
"in another words... gals wouldn't mind if u r not tall... if u r not handsome... they can bear with ur inconsiderate acts...can forget ur stupidity...but they can never forgive if u r not romantic..."

come on, this is so exaggerating.

"hey... most women have a 'knot' for romance.. just like most men have a 'knot' for virginity...to women they just can't understand how precious the thin layer of membrane is to men, same thing, men can't imagine how important women treats romance.'

this is bullshit! how come I've never heard of that.

"the key word is 'knot'...if u can untie it... fine.. but how many had actually succeeded in that... practically none..."

ok, fine. now I've done it...so what should I do to remedy the situation?

"face it... u r hopeless already... I promise u I'll have a drink with u when u and her are over..."

U SONOFABITCH.

________________________________

Mid-night. I m trying to concentrate on my physicsnotes....F=ma,v=u+at...it's really a wonder that nature can be explained by just a few formulas and equations, and this we call science. then y is astrology and palmistry being labeled as superstitious? science should only be one of the ways to explain truth, wat can't be explained by science, it doesn't necessary mean that's its unreal.... Close to 1am. since I can't get anything into my head, I shall try my luck on net then, maybe she is there...

"slorr...u here finally... good night to u... .."

'FINALLY'? strange word to use it here. Wat is she doing here at this hour? must be feeling down again.

"yes... it is fate that brought me to u at this moment..." I m trying very hard to convince her that I m a bit romantic.

"slorr... nothing to do with fate...I waited 4 u 4 one hour liaoz..."

"sure or not?.. for wat?.."

"talk to u mah...or else I can't sleep..."

"u sick izzit?... go see doctor lah..."

" ...."

"slorr....let's continue our topic.. wat do u think of relationships that begins on the internet?..."

oh my god... how should I answer her now? "its.. its very... romantic..." indeed I m not a good liar, even my words are shaking now.

"slorr... u bluffing... u not romantic one mah..."

GAME OVER. I m finished!.. no choice but to drink with Tye.

"slorr.... u lagging?... or just daoing me?..."

"no... I m wondering y is the sky so chio tonight?.."

"nonono... dun try to shift the topic... slorr..."

sigh... I give up... I asked for it myself. Actually I think relationships started from cyberspace is considered as ROMANTIC, 'Cos romance gives people an impression of unreal, and cyberspace is virtual.

"slorr....that's interesting.."

2 surfers keep a safe distance from each other and usually 3 types of pple are produced in this way.
The 1st type....
The 1st type being those who present themselves on net with their 'secondary personality'. Usually all of us consists of multiple personalities, and in everyday life, wat we present to the world is the 'primary personality', with the secondary one being suppressed, or maybe we dun even realised this other trait of us deep inside. so internet is the place where this side of us is revealed, both intentionally or without conscious knowledge.

"izzit true?... wat about 2nd type?.."

the 2nd type are those who will transform themselves into the kind of man/woman he/she would want to be. theres bound to be 1 or 2 characteristics that u particularly admire, too bad, sometimes these characteristics are just couldnt be found in u. cyberspace is the perfect location for this transformation to occur.

"slorr.... u blowing cow izzit?.. type 3 leh?..."

I m not blowing cow, I read it from an article of TIMES mag!! type 3 will be those who transform themselves into characters which are impossible for them to become in real life. For example, if u r a gal, you may act as a man on net. you may even become BATMAN or SUPERMAN if u want.

"hm..thats pretty amazing..."

the 1st type is the 'faithful' type, 'cos its his own personality that is being presented on net. the 2nd type is the 'foolish' type, 'cos he knows only how to admire others, always forgets his own strong pts. the 3rd type is the 'pathetic' type, 'cos he is wishing 4 something impossible.

"slorr.... den u belong to wat type?... me leh?.."

i dun wish to believe u r type 3, 'cos i m not. I crossed the possibility of type 1 'cos its too common, because i think u r special. being able to attract u, i think i am at least a bit special, so we belong to type 2.

"type2.... den who u wish to become?..slorr.."

i certainly would like to become a person like Tye,humorous, romantic and eloquent, 'cos these are wat i m lacking of.

"slorr.... wat about me?.."

U?.. i dun know. U want to FLY and DANCE,probably that means u wish to fully enjoy ur youth while u can. But if this is somethng u wish yet u can't achieve, den theres 2 possibilities: 1, u r aging, 2, u r leaving the world.

i think i said something wrong, 'cos she didn't sent me anymore msg after this. i began to blame myself for being so perverted. Why talk about these things?.. I should have discussed with her whether ZOE or FANN, who should be the queen of caldecott hill. Damn that TIMES mag for poisoning my mind. Maybe she's lagging. So i waited... and waited. although its just a few minutes, but it felt like several hours. I wanted to apologize, but do not know how to start. until she sent me this msg:

"slorr... lets meet..."

Without hesitation, i used the hand that I had used it over 18 years to wipe myass, typed 'O-K'.

_________________________________

I m supposed to meet FlyNDance tonight , 8pm, at the entrance of McDonald's, the one beside YMCA. That's the best time and place to meet a gal u have never met b4, according to Tye, 'Cos they would have taken their dinner by that time which means we can simply go inside the Mc and have some fries and coke. She will be wearing a whole set of coffee theme attire and I will be wearing my usual blues. This is our way of identification. She told me she is not those 'cute gals' I may think she is. I said nevermind, I m not Brad-pitt either. then she told me she has long ago given up on this hope already.

"slorr... u r early..."

while I was idling, a gal tapped my shoulders from my back. Although I was already mentally prepared for anything that's gonna appear in front of me, I was still astonished by this gal who stood in front of me now. If not for the coffeee theme and that 'slorr', I would think she is only asking for directions. 'Cos she is one of those chio bus that can only be found on orchard road, usually while I am crossing the road. Maybe I suffered from a serious concussion due to the heavy blow, my mind was extraordinarily calm.

"had ur dinner rite?.. I think we shall go inside the Mc 1st..."

"u r pretty smart huh?... a good way to save money indeed..."

AIYA!~!... she knows me soooo well, I can only give her an innocent smile back. Since she's so pretty, I ordered 2 LARGE cokes, and even ordered TWO packets of fries.

"this time u treat, next time i'll let u treat..."

I am not falling for that, miss... but I m glad she mentioned 'next time'.

"slorr... r u disappointed when u saw me just now?.."

DISSAPPOINTED?...r u drunk?.. " Why do u think I will be disappointed then?.."

"'cos i told u i am not cute mah, so u must be quite dissappointed when u saw me.."

She is making 0 sense, but i know she is just trying to hint that she's actually cute. "then why did u have to lie that u r not cute?"

"slorr... i said i am not cute... i didn't say i m not pretty.."

#$%$##%^*&%$@!!!

"but u r also quite....decent looking what.. its not like what u described to me too.."

'DECENT'? a very vague word. To many gals, decent=boring. One good thing is that she didn't lie to me about the fact that she is keeping long hair. She also has a fair complexion which reminds me of HL milk I take almost everyday. It is now only that i found out she is from ACJC, but had spent her 1st 3 mths in AJ. Sitting in front of each other, we talk about many things. From her obsession with coffee to my hobby of watching movies. in btw, she had completely shoke off my misconception of 'if she is pretty, she is brainless'. she appears to be an attractive gal, both physically and character wise, talking, smiling to me, occasionally being a little sarcastic and nasty. Its like a dream. We left the Mc at around 10 pm. Since its still early, i decided to send her home and fortunately, its just Ang Mo Kio, two MRT stops from mine. I would have a second thought if she's staying at Pasir Ris.

"slorr... congratulations.... u r officially permitted to date me from now on..." she said this b4 the lift door closed. Back at home, i realized that i hadn't asked for her real name, maybe its the influence of that stoopid Tye. Tye told me:" never ask a pretty gal her name the 1st time u meet her, 'cos there are already too many wolves out there dying to know, so she will be more interested in you if u act bochap..." then y didn't she ask for mine? dun tell me theres a female version of Tye telling her not to?

it's again 1am. time to meet her in #ajcrr.

"hi!... slorr.. u tired?..."

Of 'cos i m tired after all the surprises she presented me today, i would go straight to my bed if not for her. but y is she here also?... isn't she tired too?..

"long time no see.. how r u?.."

"slorr u siao ah?... 2 hours only leh.. miss me?..."

"A)yes.. B)of'cos..C)abuden...D)dying to see u...E)all of above.... answer is E..."

" :)..."

seems like she is really tired, even the smiling face is yawning to me rite now.

"u wanna go for a movie tomorrow?.." maybe i should ask her now, while she is half asleep, hoping that she will blur-blurly type 'OK'.

"should be no problem... what show?..."

HOOOOORAY!!... i m cheering for her fatique. "we decide what show tomorrow... anyway whats important is watch with who... not the show.." Tye's fav line, i m just borrowing it.

" ..."

"u should go sleep now lah..."

"wait one little while... u haven't tell me u tired or not?.."

"ok lah... a bit.... u leh?.."

"i m exhausted.... but have to say good night to u 1st... slorr..if not i can't sleep.."

"me too...." i can't believe i m doing this SILLY business rite now....

"ok i tell u what.... i count 1,2,3... then we log off together..."

"ok.... good night slorr..."

"same to u.."

"1...."

"2..."

"3.."

______________________________________

I never talk whenever i m inside a cinema, and now is the best time for my mouth to rest, so I spent the following 3 hours to admire this much-talked-about movie of the century, Titanic. I m not a romantic person, so its perfectly understandable if i can't really appreciate this motion picture fully, except for all those stunning special effects. But something struck me when Jack said to Rose b4 he sank into the deep.....

"Rose, listen to me... listen.... winning that ticket was the best thing that had happened to me... it brought me to u.... and i m thankful, Rose.... i m thankful...."

suddenly i felt much fortunate than Jack, 'cos I dun have to risk my life to board Titanic, all I have to do is to switch on my PC every night. But he's one lucky guy too, 'cos he knows how to draw, and just look at how slowly he was drawing Rose, that made me blame myself for the lack of this talent. But to her, this movie wasnt just about drawings or special effects. i noticed that packet of tissue paper she was holding in her hand. and just
when Rose said:" i promise... i will never let go, Jack... i'll never
let go.." she opened up her sling bag and here comes the reserve handkerchief. Damn that celine Dion, y on earth did she had to sing that "MY HEART WILL GO ON" at the end of the show. For all the female species inside the theater, its like "MY TEARS WILL ALSO GO ON".

"Ok... movie ended...lets go...." i stood up, speaking to her gently. Worried that every single word i breathe out might just crush her, and kill her. She continued to sit on the position, looking at me with her beautiful eyes that just came back from a swim. After a while, she said...

"slorr.... movie ended..... but life goes on.. m I rite?..."

i nodded my head... but i just wished somebody might give me some clue of what she was saying. Finally we managed to leave Orchard cineplex, since its still early, we decided to take a walk down the street. Along the way, she seems unusually quiet. So I guess Tye was rite about the 'TITANIC FLU'. He said that gals often got so mentally distressed after watching this show that it's the best time to launch an emotional attack on her. That's y Tye had watch Titanic for over 5 times roughly. Her eyes were focused on the path or the crowds but i know her mind was still left on Titanic, sinking with her, waiting for somebody to pull her up. I just kept my mouth shut 'cos I know i m not a good swimmer. We walked to Plaza Singapura. Suddenly she stopped in front of a Christian Dior counter.

"slorr.. have u read a novel called 'fragrance'?..."

"err..nope.... y do u ask?..."

"look at this 'DOLCE VITA' from Christian Dior... its what the guy bought for her girlfriend in the story on her birthday.... and he told her 'DOLCE VITA' is french meaning 'SWEET TIMES'..." she pointed to a bottle of perfume at the counter, but i was more interested at the price tag around the neck of the bottle.

"oh...izzit?..."

"slorr... then do u consider today as 'sweet times'...?"

"at first i do... but some pts are deducted since u started crying..."

"that means it can only be considered a little bit sweet, i'll buy the small bottle then..." i insisted to pay for the perfume as her bdae present from me since i know her birthday is coming soon, this kinda saves me a lot of trouble of finding a present for her. luckily its just perfume, i would have to pawn my underwear if that guy in the story gives her girlfriend diamond or gold bar.

"r u hungry?....wanna sit down and have something?..."

"i dun have appetite... what about u?.."

"you eat, i eat...." her eyes are red again...... i m such a fool.

Finally got away from the noisy crowd at the mrt station. Walking on one of the steets of AMK ave6. Contrastingly, its so quiet now that i even can hear the rythm of her heartbeat.

"slorr... do u know what's the correct way of applying perfume?...."

I shoke my head. In fact, i had never used a perfume or cologne b4,medicated oil maybe.

"1st u apply some behind ur ears... then ur neck and wrists... after that spray some onto the air, then walk through it..."

"sure or not?... in that case this little bottle wont even be able to last u for 3 days...."

"slorr.. shall we try?..."

"'we'?... u go ahead... i m a MAN..."

She opened up that DOLCE VITA...she applied some behind her ears, neck then the wrist... and she really did spray some onto the air!!... WABIANGZ!!.. expensive leh!... finally she stretched out her hands... facing up... like enjoying the raindrops falling on her face...

"hahaha.... slorr... this is so fun!.... now its ur turn...."

She went through the same procedures with me and i can feel the coldness of her fingers. Maybe its the perfume... i guess.

"slorr... get ready... i m going to spray!!..."

i imitated her.. face up... and walked through my 1st perfume rain.

"slorr lets have another round!!..."

WHAT!!... serious?.. my money isn't easy to come by leh!!.... b4 i can collect the broken pieces of my heart, she had walked through her second round. she was even more excited this time, hoping around, like her nick.... a flying and dancing butterfly.

Late night of AMK, the streets smells unusually nicer rite now. Until we finished the whole of that DOLCE VITA.

"DOLCE VITA is exhausted... i guess this sweet time shall end now too.... slorr.. i'll go up now.... tonight 1am. i wont be online, and u r not to do so too..."

"huh?....but why?...."

"go online at 12pm tomorrow.. u will know....remember... only at 12pm..."

She turned and walked into the lift... at the same time... i saw an obvious pink patch behind her neck... which is visible only now be'cos she tied her hair. I looked up towards her window on the 4th floor from below, but it never light up.

____________________________________

i switched off the light in my room... engulfed in the absolute darkness... 'cos i wished to have the same kind of feeling as her right now... i realised in complete darkness... the easiest mood one gets...is loneliness.. she must be lonely rite now... half asleep.. i almost can see a beautiful butterfly.. turning to ashes amidst the sea of flame... and that patch behind her neck.. from pink it became red... then burgundy.. slowly.. it wallowed me.... was it the cause of that can of beer just now?... suddenly i felt cold... and shaky.. and that coolness seemed to have come straight from my heart... the rate of my heartbeat was an exponential function of time as it got closer to 1am... USE A DIFFERENT NICK!!... checked .. she isn't there.... my heart was beating fast...but the temp remained below healthy level........

___________________________________

Finally its 12 pm, excited as i was, i logged on the net, yet there was still no sign of FlyNDance. But theres a mail from her......

Dear slorr,
At first i thought it will be easier for me to settle down in the darkness... recollecting memories we have shared... but all i felt was loneliness...... can u feel it too?... I still can't change the habit of logging on at 1am... so i used a different nick to sneak into AJCRR... u dun blame me right?...... u werent there... should i feel glad for ur obedience?.... U said both of us belonged to TYPE 2... the foolish type... maybe u r right!... 'cos I really do admire those who dares to fight for their desires... I stroke my hair gently when u said that i m leaving the world... and a few strands of hair fell..... No!... doctor told me its not a terminal disease... and doctor aren't supposed to lie!!?... I still can live like a normal person... BUT CAN I?.. FlyNDance... is it really something i wont be able to do?... After the 1st meeting with u at Mc...I started to realise that u r not only a virtual being living in the cyberspace... in reality u r strong, gentle and sensitive!.... i can feel the defense wall of my heart is slowly breaking apart.... i m defeated... I tied my hair today.. 'cos my fren told me that i look more attractive this way... I want u to remember my face as it is today... 'cos after today... everything may change.... But why didn't u ask for my real name?..that's why i never asked for urs... i m a gal mah..... do u realised how i wish to have something more than a nick to take along with me?... Slorr... thank u for the DOLCE VITA... finally got a taste of what sweet times are like... but i m really sorry..... i just couldnt bear to say goodbye..... since it started from a mail.... it should end with a mail too.... Its been 3 months and 2 days since the very 1st mail... not a very long time but it isn't short either.... our story began from me... and I will end it.. Maybe its what u said... 'internet is fast and convenient, but it isn't perfect'.... I can send u my thoughts right away... but not my tears... Its about 5.30am now.... time to go.... by the time u receive this mail... i would be trying to settle down somewhere else.... i dun know.... Good Bye.

With lotsa love,
FlyNDance

After reading her mail, i felt as if i had just experienced a roller-coaster ride which Almost derailed. she had shown me the other side of her, soft and sensitive. For a couple of mths, i was trying to hypnotize myself, to suppress my feelings whenever I started to think about her again. Perpetually i was telling myself, she is just one virtual character that flys and dance in the net, but never in the real world. I became a fugitive, escaping from my PC, escaping from the internet and anything that has to do with coffee. i hid myself behind the piles of lecture notes, behind the crowd of pple, trying to get rid of this thought of missing something in life. But i failed. I found out that its not that i dun miss her, its just that i had forgotten the passion that always comes along when u r having something hanging on ur mind all the time. Its like i cannot not breath, its just that I had forgotten the fact that i have been breathing in and out for the past 19 years. I can hold my breath for a while, but not forever. I have to find her.

_________________________________________________

"err... i m looking for ... er.. FlyNDance...."

"HUH??..."

'huh'.... this is the exact word i was expecting from her. She seems to be FlyNDance's elder sister, 20++, looked quite a beauty too even without any makeup. But of 'cos, still can't be compared with her... I explained to her my purpose for knocking on the door and told her that i am no stalker whom she might think i m. Surprisingly when i told her my disgusting nick, slorr, she appeared to be rather excited and quickly she scribbled something on a small piece of paper and handed it to me.....

"u should go and see her.."


_________________________________________

SGH, Room 3-425
This is the 1st time i've ever stepped into the Singapore General Hospital. Its a dust-free space, everything looked soo clean, tidy and arranged. But i dun like the feeling it gave me... I entered room 3-425, she was there, in a deep sleep... i stood by her, watching... her hair was still as long as before, lying across the soft, White pillow... her face looked roundish now, I know it's the side-effect of the medicine... and the pinkish-red patch that was on her neck had spread to her face... appearing in a shape of a butterfly.. nevertheless.. she was still the most beautiful butterfly i've ever seen... Her eyelashes twitched slightly.. she must be dreaming... what's that in her dream??... Mcdonald's fries and coke?.. sinking Titanic?..or the rain at AMK ave 6?.. The room was getting darker as the clock approaches 6pm.. i wanted to switch on the light... 'cos I hate to see her lying lonely under the shadow of a patient's room.... But i m worried that her dreams might be disturbed by the sudden light rays... while i was in a dilemma.. her eyes opened slowly... Her eyes were wide on me.. then she turned away suddenly.. i can only see her back at this moment... she lost weight... after a long time.. she turned to face me again.. rubbed her eyes... and smiled....

"slorr.. u r here!..."

"yes... nice weather today.. isn't it?.."

"ya lor.. sky also very chio today?.. right?...heehee.."

'SKY VERY CHIO'... i can still remember this was the conversation we had in one of our AJCRR meetings... But she didn't realized that it's raining today...

"slorr.... why r u standing there.. sit down.."

Thanks for reminding me.. i just found out that my legs were numbed due to the several hours of standing...

"slorr... u lost weight..."

ME?.. i thought i should be the one who's saying this to her!!??....

"slorr.. u hungry?... had ur lunch?.." "food here isn't so good.. thats why patients like me always slim down a bit.." "apart from that.. its quite ok.. but sometimes i feel really bored without a PC here to talk to u.." "slorr.. hows ur mid-year?.. sure did very well right?.."

WAIT A MINUTE!.. u r the one who's lying on bed right now!!.. not me!....Yet.. i had nothing to ask her actually.. 'cos I was there to see her.. not to find out the answers to those questions.. maybe now its the time for me to utter some touching lines like whats in the case of a movie.. But i m not a Romantic person... moreover... movies are fiction.. life isn't.. I just wished that she could leave this place which almost made me sick as soon as possible... back to AMK ave6, back to ACJC, back to where she belonged.... and i promised she wont be alone anymore.. 'cos I will always be there... After a while... her mum was here to see her.. around the age of 50, slightly overweight.. other than the cheerful smile... she didn't really remind me of FlyNDance...

"err... i think i've gotta go now... bye bye auntie.."

"You....You..." she sat up straight in a sudden.. like experienced a tremendous shock...

"i'll be here again tomorrow.. and the day after tomorrow... until u leave this place..."

Before i went back home, i went to Plaza Singapura again to buy that Christian Dior Dolce Vita...and i've got the biggest bottle this time, so that she can even swim in it. i tried not to close my eyes that night, 'cos I want to go to her as soon as the 1st sun ray shoots into my room. I hired a cab as i didn't want to waste too much time on bus.

"slorr.. u r here.. i've been waiting for u for a long time..."

"had a good night's rest?..."

"oh... i didn't allow myself to fall into a deep sleep... 'cos i know u wont wake me up when u r here..."

"then u should take a rest now..."

"err... since u r here already... i dun think I can..."

I gave her the Dolce Vita, and we'd agreed that we would dance in the rain in front of SGH main entrance the day she's discharged. i dare not look straight at her... 'cos theres a butterfly on her face.. it was only last night b4 I leave SGH that i found out she's suffering from an illness called ERYSIPELAS.. what the unprofessionals call the BUTTERFLY DISEASE...but i what i like is the coffee butterfly that is able to dance around freely.... not that pinkish-red butterfly that settled on her pale complexion... moreover.. whats a butterfly if it can't fly....

"slorr..why r u looking at me.. and not talking?..."

i dun know...'cos i noticed that shes getting weaker physically... I had a bad feeling about this...

"slorr... i m thirsty... can u get me a drink?.."

I m not leaving her at this moment. I can still remember a movie about this guy who went all the way to get red bean soup for his girlfriend who's on sickbed... and to find her lying silently on the white bedsheet when he came back... never to wake up again...

"r u trying to get rid of me... like whats in that movie?.."

"slorr... movie is movie... life is life..."

MOVIE?..LIFE?....

"but i thot u just had a drink?... anyway.. so what can i get for u?..."

"Ultimate Ice Blended!!...."

This is a hospital leh!!... did she think I can find Coffeee Bean everywhere on this island?...like Mcdonalds... whatsmore... coffeee wasnt suitable for her at that time...

"err.... coffee isn't good for health.. order something else... ok?.."

"so u know coffee isn't good for the body too... then u should cut down on ur intake oso... ok?.."

i saw her smile appearing... and theres a shine in her eyes...i realised that shes just trying to tell me not to drink too much coffee in the future... My heart seemed to have suffered from a heavy blow... This is not good... a taste of pH<7 has started to fill my nose..... If this is not going to stop.. tears might be the next thing that appears in front of her... i recalled the chapter on reservoir and dam in physics textbook.. quickly apply the knowledge on me... even if its just a few droplets...

"ok... i promise... i'll try my best.."

"and try to sleep earlier in the future..." "and dun skip breakfast... its important to u..." "and dun be too obsessed with Blue.. it makes u look..troubled...." "and....." this didn't sound good... its like giving the final
instructions b4 she... I can't bear to let her continue...

"okok... i'll go get u a drink right away.."

"slorr... is the machine far away?... if it is.. then its ok.. i dun want it anymore...

from my mental calculation....men would take 67 steps while women would take 85 steps to reach the vending machine right at that corner.. plus the time taken to purchase... average would take a total of 1.8-2.1 minutes... not very far... "quite near.."

"slorr.... come back quick... i dun want to be alone for too long.... i hate that feeling.." i didn't answer her.... i just increased my pace....

___________________________________

"eh... its late already... go to sleep.." my mum was nagging at me again.

"okok.... 10 more minutes..."
Until today, FlyNDance had left for more than 2 mths. i still logged on at 1am everynight, but onto channel DOLCE-VITA which was created by myself, with slorr and FlyNDance being the only 2 nicks inside, for 10 minutes. Although she wont be able to fly and dance in real life anymore, but i still wish that she could continue to do so in the virtual world. Even Tye has given up on me... "she's gone.... y r u still doing this?.. for what?!!..." Yet, even if thats the case, i can't allow her soul to be left at the corner of loneliness. 'cos she said.... she hate the feeling of being alone... I still remember there was a heavy downpour on that day.... When i reached SGH... they told me... A coffeee butterfly flew away from her room at around 1am last night.... after that... i can't remember...i just knew that i stood at the bus-stop for a whole day... and i was all wet because of the rain.. even my face.. I've been trying hard not to think of her over these 2 mths.. I've been hoping that her face wont appear in my mind every moment that i breath, but it's like hoping that.... the sky isn't blue; the grass isn't green; the stars do not twinkle at night... Basically, i was hoping for something impossible to happen... I can't believe that i m of Type 2, even in real life.. Did i cry?.. NO WAY!.. i said it b4, i m not a romantic person, and this may be due to the deficiency in the hormones that constitutes emotions... whenever i had the feeling of pH<7, i'll browse through those FWDS:jokes... attention will then be shifted by those dim-wit, low-class jokes... so now everything is back to the way it was b4 I met her 9 mths ago... Tye is still flirting around, and i m still the old decent=dull me. But i've stopped taking coffeee and beer.

"xing ah... is this for u?...."My mum handed me a letter she picked up in the mail box this morning. i was surprised when i saw 'To:slorr...' written on the envelope. That's for me i guess. i opened it up, there was a piece of note inside, and another coffee envelope.


Slorr,
I m FlyNDance's sister, i think this is how u r addressing her. I m sorry that i do not know ur real name, although we'd met b4. When i was packing her stuff a few Days ago, I found this letter with your name and address already written on it. So i posted it to you, because I believe this is what my sister intended to do.

Best wishes,
Xiao wen

The letter was sent 3 days ago, and there was another 'To:slorr...' followed by my home address written on the coffee envelope. But this handwriting was a lot nicer and the words seemed to be moving swifttly... like in a joyful dance. I have no time to figure out how she has gotten my home address... did i give her in one of my mails?.. I tried to control my trembling hands, slowly, I opened up the envelope. I found a photo, and a half of a movie ticket inside... Apart from these, there was a blue letter... with the familiar DOLCE VITA smell on it. The photo showed her, standing on a piece of grassland... wearing the same coffee theme attire on our 1st meeting at Mcdonalds. Something was written at the back of it....

Dear slorr,
Coffee represents Pisces.. thats me.
Blue represents sagittarius.. that's you.
A blue letter inside a coffeee envelope....
know what i mean?...
seeing me... do u feel like drinking coffee
now?..
stop drooling!...
FlyNDance

I smiled.... bitterly.. and the contents of the blue letter is simple:

If i have one more day to live,
i want to be your girlfriend.
Do i have one more day? No.
Too bad. I can't be your girlfriend...
not in this life.
If i have wings, i want to fly down from the
paradise just to see you.
Do i have wings? No.
Sadly. I can never see you again.
If all the water are drawn out of the bath-tub,
but it still can't put off the flame of love btw us.
Can all the water in a bath-tub be drawn off?
Can.
So, yes. I LOVE YOU.
FlyNDance

My chest was torn apart... tears broke through the dam I constructed a long time go in a jiffy... As proud, as emotionless as i was, i can't pull back the salty wet that's on the whole of my face anymore....She has changed my 'little theory'... and gotten back what i'd owed her... tears for 2 months....
_______________________

Titanic has won 11 awards in the Oscar.. including best picture.Yet, Rose wasn't the best actress under that category. So if it's sad in a movie, it may not be so fortunate too in real life. and.. in reality... should Jack hold on to Rose.. and 'Never let go?'..... Maybe he shouldn't be worried about this... 'cos that beautiful coffee butterfly will continue to fly and dance in his heart.. forever...


~THE END~


xOOx - 1:30:00 pm


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